Social media is an interesting thing when you really think about it. We can find people we've lost over the years and through taking different journeys in this crazy thing called life. It's amazing how "connected" you can be with to so many people through pictures and posts, but physically be miles apart. In a way it's as if you are a part of each other's lives. 

On the flip side of that is what you see which is an edited version of everyone's lives. Sometimes I look around and all I see are how adventurous, romantic, perfect lives these people have which makes me feel like I'm missing out right? All these amazing pictures of trips and how wonderful someone's significant other is  and then there's my life. You know the one of a single momma who struggles financially, who does her best to keep up with a 9 year old's school work, sports, a full time job, and goes to school at night?  The one who stays busy with a crazy schedule all the time and is exhausted on most days. When it does slow down a little in the summer I have no idea what to do with myself or time b/c I do busy really well. Why do I do busy well? Well simply b/c as long as I'm busy then I'm not completely alone with my thoughts. So it's really easy for me to look at these other people and their lives and daydream. Now do not get me wrong I love my life b/c I love my son with every part of my being. He is my world and although it's hard I wouldn't trade him or choose differently for another version of my life if he wasn't in it. He is worth all of my struggles. 

When I really think though as I glimpse into other people's lives through their posts I have to remind myself that most will not post all over the internet the struggles/imperfections of their lives. Who wants to post publicly the whole picture of their reality? Who wants to be completely and utterly vulnerable to outsiders? So the majority will paint only a portion of the real picture.  It's sometimes hard not to compare myself to others and figure out how I measure up. At the end of the day I can only do my best and give it my all for me and my little bug. 

Until the next time.....

I loved you before I met you......

On September 10th, 2003 @ 3:18pm I met the love of my life...Connor Matthew Parrish. This sweet 6lb 3oz beautiful baby boy far surpassed any expectations I ever had. He was perfect and my heart expanded in ways that I could never prepare for. I loved him from the very moment I found out I was expecting and when he entered this world I knew every part of him. These last nine years have been such a blessing to my life. He brings pure joy into my life, his laughter is contagious, he is hiliarious, extremely smart, beautiful, and has the sweetest soul. I have been so blessed to have my little side kick I can't even begin to imagine my life without him or even what it was before he was here. I thank God that He entrusted me to raise this beautiful boy! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOST FAVORITE PERSON IN THIS WORLD: CONNORBUG MOMMA LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!

"Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth 'you owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky" -Hafiz




I love this quote don't you? It is so true and so close to home. I have always been the hopeless romantic even when at times I have hidden that part of me for a while due to pain.  It's just who I am ....I love to make other people happy, b/c in return it makes my heart smile. There are some people out there that do things for others not with a generous and loving heart, but instead with a hidden agenda. My definition of doing things for others that we love doesn't necessarily mean materialistic things....it's the little things that matter the most. I believe in that gut wrenching love, the love that you when you lie down they are the last thing you think of, when you wake up they are the first, laughter, your best friend who you can't imagine your life without, who sometimes knows you better than yourself, lifting each other up in all aspects of your lives,  who you are most authentic with, uncomplicated/easy to be with, you light up at the thought of each other,  you can read each other's emotions without saying a word, and someone that you still hold hands with at the young age of 80. Love is not about doing things for each other with a selfish underlying tone. It should never be given with stipulations and conditions. I have had my fair share of heartache, but that doesn't mean that I give up on love.  Why should I punish someone for the past?What it means is that I am still that hopeless romantic that holds her heart closely and doesn't give it away as easily, b/c when I do give it away again it will be to the person meant to handle my heart in the right way.

Until the next time.....

Pessimist, Optimist, and Realist.....

In the last week or so I have ran across some quotes that for me rang true. I've spent some time on these words and my interpretation of them. I'll just address one for today...

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change;the realist adjust the sails" William A Ward

At some point haven't we been a little bit of all of these characters?

It's so easy for us to fall into the pessimist mindset when life doesn't go our way. People love to complain and want others around them to join in on the pity party. Let's take a look at that option though.... What does this really do for us? Does it fix the problem? Does voicing our miserable situation make us feel better? Maybe it does make us feel better for a short run, but the complaints won't be the end solution. We tend to constantly run the scenario in our head over and over, dwelling, and obsessing over it until we've built it up that it takes on a life of its own. Honestly, no one wants to keep a pessimist as company they only bring people down.

It's great to be an optimist right?!? Atleast this outlook is not dripping with negativity and we are on the upswing with high hope and expectation! Unfortunately hoping for something with a smile on our face can only get us so far. How long will we hold onto the hope before we let go of the grip?

The realist will look at the situation they are handed and consider all the solutions. They become motivated by an optimistic view. The difference between them and an optimist is they will take that smile, glimmer of hope, and put it into action to see the change.

Life has it's challenges, but we get to choose how we will handle it. It's our choice every.single.time.! No one can take that away from you. It's encouraging when we can look at something in our life and we choose to turn the crisis into an opportunity. An opportunity to find the lesson, to learn, to share it with others that may encounter the same situation, and most importantly change it on our terms.

Until the next time.....

LaYeRs

I was cooking the other night and as I was cutting up the onions I started to compare it to life. I am sure this has been said before in some shape of form, but I want to share my thoughts.

We at some point are very much like an onion during certain seasons of our lives. As we peel back the layers it causes discomfort and brings tears to our eyes. The more we peel the more it stings, burns, and we rush through the agony to make it stop. It's normal and unavoidable reaction to the process. To truly heal the layer we must face it head on and start to peel it back to get the result our hearts desire.

For myself there are layers that I thought were long gone and I have come to realize that maybe it wasn't just one particular layer....maybe it was multiple layers that were hidden deep to its' core.

Eventhough the layers are sometimes painful when you get through them they add flavor to your life in some sense. They've made you who you are and enlightened you on who you strive to be. So I welcome the peeling of my layers because I know that in the end I will come out on the other side to something beautiful!

Nothing like a trip to the ER

Last Sunday night was one that ended with a trip to the ER for Connor. It happened right after bath time I walked out of his room for a SECOND and the next thing I hear is my baby screaming. Now you must know that Connor can be clumsy at times, but he's a tough cookie and NEVER complains when he gets hurt. So you can imagine how quickly this mommy took off to investigate. I rushed in his room and he was holding his head. I asked what happened and he said he hit his bed then asked if he was bleeding and when he moved his hand there was blood lots of blood streaming down the side of his face. When I saw his head it was so deep I instantly thought "oh boy it needs stitches". I dashed for the closest rag I could grab to put pressure on his head and got him dressed and off we went to the ER. I called for my support system mom and his Nana. Thank God they came, b/c I was feeling woozy and freaking out on the inside. I came to find out though that eventhough I was dying inside I handle crisis situations in a very calm manner. On the way to the ER Connor was crying and afraid, but M&M's brought by Nana seemed to make him forget he was scared and in pain. He insisted on me showing him what it looked like so I took a picture and showed him. His response: "it looks like a bullet hole"...boys!The worst part was when they had to numb it b/c it was a cold liquad that made it burn really bad so he was not happy at that point. The doctor that stitched him up was amazing and Connor had no idea that he had gotten stitches. He handled the whole situation like a trooper and was even smiling as his head was being repaired. His poor head was still bleeding up to the point of getting his stitches I thought it would never stop! The doctor put a bandaid on it which was not a fun thing to remove the next day so we could put neosporin on it:( He quickly ran to the mirror to see his head....this was his reaction:

"oh my gosh what is that in my head?"
Me: a string bandaid(b/c that's what the doctor called it)
Connor: " they sewed my head with a needle"
Me: silence...
Connor: "those are stitches"

Just so you know his reaction was quite funny and eventhough he was trying to come across as upset you could see it in his little face that he thought it was pretty cool.

So the next and final step is getting those stitches out on Tuesday! Fingers crossed he won't freak out.

All in all the whole experience was emotional and crazy, but he was so good through the whole thing. I sure hope this doesn't happen again...but he is a boy so who knows what's in store?

Until the next time....

Birthday Breakfast for mom=creepy dining

This year for mom's birthday her kids decided that we would take her out to eat. Her choice was to celebrate by going to Cafe des Amis in Breaux Bridge for breakfast and dancing. My mom loves to dance and this would be the perfect place to be since the setting is a live Zydeco band and lots of people cuttin a rug. Me, mom, and my sister rode in together to meet up with my brothers and had a good few laughs on the way in. As we are driving in mom thinks she sees my brother Danny so in her excitement she totally rolls down the window yelling at him come to find out not so much my brother. When we get there we find out there's a wait that will be over an hour, but we go in hang out enjoy some music. Mom got in a couple of dances with my brother which I'm sure made her day. Dancing to mom is described as making her soul smiling. Anyway well at one point we decided ok let's just go next door to this other restuarant to eat and we will be able to talk and hear each other. Seems like this would be easy right? It was not at all what we thought it would be.

The restuarant is on the same little strip of where antique shops are so you know the place is rather aged to say the least. We walk in and you can smell the mold it was quite stuffy. I went to the bathroom immediately. Later on in conversation I find out that mom made a remark that it was stuffy and we would rather sit outside. This was unacceptable to the staff,b /c according to them it was too hot for them to go outside and wait on us. Um ok so why the false advertisement with the outside seating? I don't get it. Our table was in the center of the room. Behind me was this big, weird plastic, starburst looking thing that was most probably used in a kid's science project at some point. Directly across from me on the wall was this painting of a creature that could totally have starred in the 80s movie the Labrynth. Trust me I love the movie, but I don't want to dine with a character. To the right of me is this older woman sitting there repeatedly picking at bread and putting the crumbs in a big bag. Have you ever seen a scary movie where the person just committed murder and they are sitting in a chair rocking back and forth doing a repeative movement? Yea that was her with the bread and the crazy stare that looks right through you. All these subtle things are going on in the background while we are enjoying our time together laughing and visiting with one another. At some point I had to wonder to myself if anyone was actually in the kitchen cooking 1. it took over 45 minutes to cook breakfast 2. no noise was coming from that area. The food finally came out I had eggs, bisquit, tator tots, Danny had sweet potatoe pancakes, Mom/Tonja had egg omelet with crawfish and Robby didn't eat due to an upset tummy. I asked the server if she had ketchup oh sure she said she comes back and plops a bowl in which she has poured a huge blob of ketchup in. Nice and totally trustworthy I'm sure. We are all eating and I guess it was the owner who came up to our table, b/c it wasn't our server. She looks at mom and asks do you not like your food in which mom being honest responds not really. The next thing that comes out of this woman's mouth is a total jaw dropper for me....she tells mom: SHAME ON YOU SHAME that crawfish is fresh. All my mom could say was maybe I should've not said that and asked for a to go box and the woman was like yeah you should've. That customer service for this "fine dining" was amazing truly. I can't believe it!

I feel like after I left that place I needed to watch a scary movie to make myself feel better. Don't get me wrong this experience was a trip and I enjoyed my time with my family. I will never forget this day and the experience we had.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM....SHAME ON YOU!