Social media is an interesting thing when you really think about it. We can find people we've lost over the years and through taking different journeys in this crazy thing called life. It's amazing how "connected" you can be with to so many people through pictures and posts, but physically be miles apart. In a way it's as if you are a part of each other's lives. 

On the flip side of that is what you see which is an edited version of everyone's lives. Sometimes I look around and all I see are how adventurous, romantic, perfect lives these people have which makes me feel like I'm missing out right? All these amazing pictures of trips and how wonderful someone's significant other is  and then there's my life. You know the one of a single momma who struggles financially, who does her best to keep up with a 9 year old's school work, sports, a full time job, and goes to school at night?  The one who stays busy with a crazy schedule all the time and is exhausted on most days. When it does slow down a little in the summer I have no idea what to do with myself or time b/c I do busy really well. Why do I do busy well? Well simply b/c as long as I'm busy then I'm not completely alone with my thoughts. So it's really easy for me to look at these other people and their lives and daydream. Now do not get me wrong I love my life b/c I love my son with every part of my being. He is my world and although it's hard I wouldn't trade him or choose differently for another version of my life if he wasn't in it. He is worth all of my struggles. 

When I really think though as I glimpse into other people's lives through their posts I have to remind myself that most will not post all over the internet the struggles/imperfections of their lives. Who wants to post publicly the whole picture of their reality? Who wants to be completely and utterly vulnerable to outsiders? So the majority will paint only a portion of the real picture.  It's sometimes hard not to compare myself to others and figure out how I measure up. At the end of the day I can only do my best and give it my all for me and my little bug. 

Until the next time.....

I loved you before I met you......

On September 10th, 2003 @ 3:18pm I met the love of my life...Connor Matthew Parrish. This sweet 6lb 3oz beautiful baby boy far surpassed any expectations I ever had. He was perfect and my heart expanded in ways that I could never prepare for. I loved him from the very moment I found out I was expecting and when he entered this world I knew every part of him. These last nine years have been such a blessing to my life. He brings pure joy into my life, his laughter is contagious, he is hiliarious, extremely smart, beautiful, and has the sweetest soul. I have been so blessed to have my little side kick I can't even begin to imagine my life without him or even what it was before he was here. I thank God that He entrusted me to raise this beautiful boy! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOST FAVORITE PERSON IN THIS WORLD: CONNORBUG MOMMA LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!

"Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth 'you owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky" -Hafiz




I love this quote don't you? It is so true and so close to home. I have always been the hopeless romantic even when at times I have hidden that part of me for a while due to pain.  It's just who I am ....I love to make other people happy, b/c in return it makes my heart smile. There are some people out there that do things for others not with a generous and loving heart, but instead with a hidden agenda. My definition of doing things for others that we love doesn't necessarily mean materialistic things....it's the little things that matter the most. I believe in that gut wrenching love, the love that you when you lie down they are the last thing you think of, when you wake up they are the first, laughter, your best friend who you can't imagine your life without, who sometimes knows you better than yourself, lifting each other up in all aspects of your lives,  who you are most authentic with, uncomplicated/easy to be with, you light up at the thought of each other,  you can read each other's emotions without saying a word, and someone that you still hold hands with at the young age of 80. Love is not about doing things for each other with a selfish underlying tone. It should never be given with stipulations and conditions. I have had my fair share of heartache, but that doesn't mean that I give up on love.  Why should I punish someone for the past?What it means is that I am still that hopeless romantic that holds her heart closely and doesn't give it away as easily, b/c when I do give it away again it will be to the person meant to handle my heart in the right way.

Until the next time.....

Pessimist, Optimist, and Realist.....

In the last week or so I have ran across some quotes that for me rang true. I've spent some time on these words and my interpretation of them. I'll just address one for today...

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change;the realist adjust the sails" William A Ward

At some point haven't we been a little bit of all of these characters?

It's so easy for us to fall into the pessimist mindset when life doesn't go our way. People love to complain and want others around them to join in on the pity party. Let's take a look at that option though.... What does this really do for us? Does it fix the problem? Does voicing our miserable situation make us feel better? Maybe it does make us feel better for a short run, but the complaints won't be the end solution. We tend to constantly run the scenario in our head over and over, dwelling, and obsessing over it until we've built it up that it takes on a life of its own. Honestly, no one wants to keep a pessimist as company they only bring people down.

It's great to be an optimist right?!? Atleast this outlook is not dripping with negativity and we are on the upswing with high hope and expectation! Unfortunately hoping for something with a smile on our face can only get us so far. How long will we hold onto the hope before we let go of the grip?

The realist will look at the situation they are handed and consider all the solutions. They become motivated by an optimistic view. The difference between them and an optimist is they will take that smile, glimmer of hope, and put it into action to see the change.

Life has it's challenges, but we get to choose how we will handle it. It's our choice every.single.time.! No one can take that away from you. It's encouraging when we can look at something in our life and we choose to turn the crisis into an opportunity. An opportunity to find the lesson, to learn, to share it with others that may encounter the same situation, and most importantly change it on our terms.

Until the next time.....

LaYeRs

I was cooking the other night and as I was cutting up the onions I started to compare it to life. I am sure this has been said before in some shape of form, but I want to share my thoughts.

We at some point are very much like an onion during certain seasons of our lives. As we peel back the layers it causes discomfort and brings tears to our eyes. The more we peel the more it stings, burns, and we rush through the agony to make it stop. It's normal and unavoidable reaction to the process. To truly heal the layer we must face it head on and start to peel it back to get the result our hearts desire.

For myself there are layers that I thought were long gone and I have come to realize that maybe it wasn't just one particular layer....maybe it was multiple layers that were hidden deep to its' core.

Eventhough the layers are sometimes painful when you get through them they add flavor to your life in some sense. They've made you who you are and enlightened you on who you strive to be. So I welcome the peeling of my layers because I know that in the end I will come out on the other side to something beautiful!

Nothing like a trip to the ER

Last Sunday night was one that ended with a trip to the ER for Connor. It happened right after bath time I walked out of his room for a SECOND and the next thing I hear is my baby screaming. Now you must know that Connor can be clumsy at times, but he's a tough cookie and NEVER complains when he gets hurt. So you can imagine how quickly this mommy took off to investigate. I rushed in his room and he was holding his head. I asked what happened and he said he hit his bed then asked if he was bleeding and when he moved his hand there was blood lots of blood streaming down the side of his face. When I saw his head it was so deep I instantly thought "oh boy it needs stitches". I dashed for the closest rag I could grab to put pressure on his head and got him dressed and off we went to the ER. I called for my support system mom and his Nana. Thank God they came, b/c I was feeling woozy and freaking out on the inside. I came to find out though that eventhough I was dying inside I handle crisis situations in a very calm manner. On the way to the ER Connor was crying and afraid, but M&M's brought by Nana seemed to make him forget he was scared and in pain. He insisted on me showing him what it looked like so I took a picture and showed him. His response: "it looks like a bullet hole"...boys!The worst part was when they had to numb it b/c it was a cold liquad that made it burn really bad so he was not happy at that point. The doctor that stitched him up was amazing and Connor had no idea that he had gotten stitches. He handled the whole situation like a trooper and was even smiling as his head was being repaired. His poor head was still bleeding up to the point of getting his stitches I thought it would never stop! The doctor put a bandaid on it which was not a fun thing to remove the next day so we could put neosporin on it:( He quickly ran to the mirror to see his head....this was his reaction:

"oh my gosh what is that in my head?"
Me: a string bandaid(b/c that's what the doctor called it)
Connor: " they sewed my head with a needle"
Me: silence...
Connor: "those are stitches"

Just so you know his reaction was quite funny and eventhough he was trying to come across as upset you could see it in his little face that he thought it was pretty cool.

So the next and final step is getting those stitches out on Tuesday! Fingers crossed he won't freak out.

All in all the whole experience was emotional and crazy, but he was so good through the whole thing. I sure hope this doesn't happen again...but he is a boy so who knows what's in store?

Until the next time....

Birthday Breakfast for mom=creepy dining

This year for mom's birthday her kids decided that we would take her out to eat. Her choice was to celebrate by going to Cafe des Amis in Breaux Bridge for breakfast and dancing. My mom loves to dance and this would be the perfect place to be since the setting is a live Zydeco band and lots of people cuttin a rug. Me, mom, and my sister rode in together to meet up with my brothers and had a good few laughs on the way in. As we are driving in mom thinks she sees my brother Danny so in her excitement she totally rolls down the window yelling at him come to find out not so much my brother. When we get there we find out there's a wait that will be over an hour, but we go in hang out enjoy some music. Mom got in a couple of dances with my brother which I'm sure made her day. Dancing to mom is described as making her soul smiling. Anyway well at one point we decided ok let's just go next door to this other restuarant to eat and we will be able to talk and hear each other. Seems like this would be easy right? It was not at all what we thought it would be.

The restuarant is on the same little strip of where antique shops are so you know the place is rather aged to say the least. We walk in and you can smell the mold it was quite stuffy. I went to the bathroom immediately. Later on in conversation I find out that mom made a remark that it was stuffy and we would rather sit outside. This was unacceptable to the staff,b /c according to them it was too hot for them to go outside and wait on us. Um ok so why the false advertisement with the outside seating? I don't get it. Our table was in the center of the room. Behind me was this big, weird plastic, starburst looking thing that was most probably used in a kid's science project at some point. Directly across from me on the wall was this painting of a creature that could totally have starred in the 80s movie the Labrynth. Trust me I love the movie, but I don't want to dine with a character. To the right of me is this older woman sitting there repeatedly picking at bread and putting the crumbs in a big bag. Have you ever seen a scary movie where the person just committed murder and they are sitting in a chair rocking back and forth doing a repeative movement? Yea that was her with the bread and the crazy stare that looks right through you. All these subtle things are going on in the background while we are enjoying our time together laughing and visiting with one another. At some point I had to wonder to myself if anyone was actually in the kitchen cooking 1. it took over 45 minutes to cook breakfast 2. no noise was coming from that area. The food finally came out I had eggs, bisquit, tator tots, Danny had sweet potatoe pancakes, Mom/Tonja had egg omelet with crawfish and Robby didn't eat due to an upset tummy. I asked the server if she had ketchup oh sure she said she comes back and plops a bowl in which she has poured a huge blob of ketchup in. Nice and totally trustworthy I'm sure. We are all eating and I guess it was the owner who came up to our table, b/c it wasn't our server. She looks at mom and asks do you not like your food in which mom being honest responds not really. The next thing that comes out of this woman's mouth is a total jaw dropper for me....she tells mom: SHAME ON YOU SHAME that crawfish is fresh. All my mom could say was maybe I should've not said that and asked for a to go box and the woman was like yeah you should've. That customer service for this "fine dining" was amazing truly. I can't believe it!

I feel like after I left that place I needed to watch a scary movie to make myself feel better. Don't get me wrong this experience was a trip and I enjoyed my time with my family. I will never forget this day and the experience we had.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM....SHAME ON YOU!

Ran across a few things that make my heart melt with a side of baby fever:





My absolute favorite by far. I just want to squeeze him and play with the little fuzzy pom poms:)

This scene just makes me want to stay a while:)

Owl need I say more?

These little birds just make my heart sing

I.LOVE.THIS. I just want to snuggle with this lil bear

Now I just need to find a baby to play with to subside my fever. Hope ya'll enjoyed these cuties and their accessories as much as I have;)

Happy Saturday!

The knowledge is so overwhelming

A few weeks ago it was brought to my attention by my older brother that everyone has one foot that is slightly bigger than the other. Well this was definitely a news flash that changed my life litcharally! So me being the younger sister I gave him a hard time with not teaching me all that he knows. I mean what else is he holding out on me? So ever since then it's been a battle of useless facts and definitely entertaining. I must say that I have learned so much in my own research and having him and my awesome sister-in-law feeding my brain with random facts on a daily basis. So who am I to withhold information from all of you? Get ready to be blown away with these amazing facts that hey one day may come in handy...you can thank me later! So without further a do I give you my new found knowledge:

A dragon fly has a life span of 24 hours

A gold fish has a memory span of 3 seconds

A pregnant gold fish is called a twit...side note refer to the above fact that must be confusing and awkward:)

Tigers have striped skin not just striped fur

In Lehigh, Nebraska it's against the law to sell donut holes

On average a 100 people choke to death on ball point pens

For the 80's babies...Back in 1980 - 81 we were shocked as gas prices rose above $1.00 for the first time. This was especially shocking because just four years earlier in 1976 gas was $0.60 per gallon and in 1969 it was only $0.35 a gallon. But by 1981 only 12 years later it was a full dollar higher at $1.35. That is an increase of 286% in 12 years$1.35/gallon? Yes please! Oh how I wish it were the 80s:)

Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order

In New York State, it is still illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley carDon't have to worry about me breaking this law, b/c I shoot rabbits from the cabs anyway:P

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

A single cow produces about 90 glasses of milk per day or about 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime

101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout the movie.

And now you know! Pay it forward people pay it forward!

Until the next time....

Does that really work for you?


So in the last couple of weeks I have met a few of my neighbors. First let me say they are quite the characters....At first it seemed like they were normal people, but as time has gone on and I have encountered them either at the pool or passing in the hall my perspective has drastically changed. The new neighbor that I have is so full of himself it's as if his head can't fit through the door. Let's just say he thinks his stuff don't stink if you know what I mean. Let me give you this little scenario as he is talking to me just giving me the friendly "hello neighbor how are you" convo he proceeds to make his chest mucscles jump and finishes up with flexing other muscles that I could seriously care less about. Of course it's distracting and not in the way he is hoping for. All I can think to myself is "wow does he really think this impresses women?" and as I am thinking this it is taking all I have to hold in the laughter for sure! So ok that's the neighbor that I occassionally run into and have to laugh at. I did see him bring home some little girl that could pass for maybe 15 on a good day and I just shook my head for her, b/c kudos to her if she can actually put up with that personality. I honestly have no idea how he even lured her back to his house...she's probably one of those girls that are in desperation for attention and is willing to not only lower the standards, but settle none the less. Ok and we know that we have all been there settling for whatever guy shows the attention(I'm not just talking sexual this also applies to being in relationship)....and it may not be the guy who wants to bounce his muscles, but we've all been there compromising our standards.

Onto the next bizarre character I met. So let me just give you a background of how this one came about. Connor and I are at the pool every weekend and there is always the same kids there too with their dad....so normally Connor plays with them. A couple of weeks ago the dad comes over and starts chatting it up with me which is totally fine. I find out that he is a chef so in conversation he says "I always cook too much I will drop off some dinner to ya'll" I'm thinking free dinner heck yeah bring it on! I should have remembered what I learned in my economics class "there's no such thing as a free lunch". It's a really long story, but here's the short end of it...I thought I was just helping Connor make friends and the weekend dad had a different agenda. Which really aggrivates me b/c he just ruined it for the kids. He has now made it uncomfortable and awkward. Not only that but I can't escape him we live in the same place! Just a side note to the fellas don't use your kids to try and bait a woman it won't work...we see right through you!


So there it is a couple of cooky characters that I live amongst. I'm kinda stand offish to meet anymore of my neighbors!

Until the next time....

I admit it....I'm addicted:/


It all started with a late night text from my twin Laura....she couldn't seem to sleep. Being a creature of nosiness I just had to find out what ailed her. Her answer to me: "angry birds". Now for most of the world you know what I'm talking about, but obviously I was left out of the loop on the phenomenom. This just sounded ridicoulous what in the world is angry birds I thought? It was a simple answer "the whole world is playing it".

And then it happened.....my outsider perspective of turning my nose up to such a game was changed forever. Once I started I couldn't stop...I still can't! These birds are angry yes, but let me just state for the record that anyone with anger issues should not be advised to participate in such an adventure! Sometimes your aim may not be on target and you waste a bird....uh the aggrivation of a perfectly good bird wasted. The first night that I started playing it I made the mistake of letting Connor in on the action. The problem with this is that I didn't want to share....wait....am I supposed to be setting an example of sharing.....ah that's over rated the kid can wait all parental guidance became null and void....move over kid get your own phone! Side note he unlike his mother knows how to share and was very patient with his mommy:) thank goodness lol

So the moral of the story be weary of partaking in what the world maybe doing it just may suck you into the addiction:) And to Laura if I need to be admitted to some rehab or group you get to foot the bill!

Hope everyone enjoys their memorial day weekend...I'm sure I will be found by the pool secretly playing Angry birds!

Until the next time....

WHEN IT'S NOT ALWAYS SUNSHINE AND ROSES


So this week I found a saying that I absolutely love and think it rings so true for everyone. "IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ME AT MY WORST THEN YOU DON'T DESERVE ME AT MY BEST". I believe that it's easy to commit to someone or something when the road is smooth and good, but it's the hard road that is difficult to swallow sometimes. I believe that if you truly love someone then this love should be unconditional, gut wrenching, committed, not labeled, and an uncensored kind of love. When someone loves you they should love ALL of you, who you are, what you're about, what you stand for, the good, and bad. I don't think there should be " I will love you if..." Life is hard enough without someone putting these stipulations on you. What everyone needs in love is a supporter, best friend, a lover, and a fan. No one is perfect and neither is life so there will always be a bump in the road. There will be times when we fall and whoever is standing next to us should be the one who picks us back up. Never leaving our side and never swaying in the opposite direction of us. These are just a few of my thoughts on "true love" and what it looks like to me. I will not accept anything less from the person I am supposed to do my life with. Why would anyone deserve the very best of me if they can't take the worst?

Change is in the air.... So much change is going on in the life of me. Things at work have changed....I've now taken on a new position in addition to my normal one at work. I am looking forward to the new challenges and learning new things. I think that it will only be an opportunity that will definitely benefit me. There have been some set backs in my personal life that I am now trying to deal with. Definitely something that I didn't see coming, but at the same time I'm looking at it as another life lesson. In addition to that my first approach to handling it wasn't the smartest way and that seemed to throw me into some things of the past, but again handling it! I think my focus is definitely going to shift over to Connor. He is always my focus, but sometimes it's easy for life to get overwhelming and forget to take the time out to just enjoy the simple things. So my new goal is to try and find some new and fun ways to spend our time together. After all I'm sure I will wake up and those days will be gone so I don't want to miss out on these important times. Eventhough I have had some curve balls thrown at me recently I have to remember that I have A LOT to be grateful for. And when I think it's bad there's always someone else in this world that has it worse than me so what's the point in focusing on the negative? I am so blessed to have Connor in my life...he is my heart and he definitely makes my life make sense and everything I do is worth it b/c of him. Until the next time......

New Year New Me

I have high hopes for the new year! I started it off by closing the door to my past and started looking forward. I have decided that I will no longer be anyone's doormat I don't care who you are. And I can say that I have actually taken action by making sure that I'm not confused with the door mat! So really I only have a couple of things that are on my list for 2011 goals please see below:

1. Working out at least three times a week. It's been interesting having on this extra weight, but it's worn out its welcome so BYE BYE PESTY 10LBS!

2. Save money for next year's tuition

3. Take Connor on an inexpensive mini vacation this year preferably the summah time:)

So that's really all that I'm working toward this year. What are your resolutions/goals?

Until the next time.....

Merry Christmas!

It's just a few days away from Christmas. I am so excited for the holiday. I love this time of year time with family and friends. I am really looking forward to Connor getting all of his new stuff and playing with it all with him. The best gift of the season is most definitely without a doubt JESUS! Hope everyone enjoys their holiday and remembers what it's all about.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS:)

Being the stronger person is exhausting....

As of now I work a full time job along with three other small jobs on the side. This weekend I have come to realize that I have to get yet another part time job. The situation I am in is completely alone with Connor who solely depends on me. The help that I have gotten will most probably stop all together with the way things are going. So in order to keep the condo I just purchased and Connor in his ah-mazing school it calls for yet another job. Everyone says that I am a strong person, someone who isn't afraid of work, and determined. These things are true yes, but a part of me feels that it's unfair that I have to pick up the slack for those who aren't willing to step up. I give 110% to my child financially, emotionally, and providing for him. Please don't get me wrong my son is worth every little bit of it, but now I will have to spend more time away from him so eventhough I am making up for it financially he is missing out on time with his mom. I hope and pray that one day things will be different, easier, smoother, and simple. For now I have to put on the super mom cape and try not to get too worn out from it all.

Until the next time.....

A mother's decision

I have the most loving, kind hearted, joyful, energetic, funny, and easy going child Connor. He has brought me so much joy and laughter since I met him. At home he is a very to himself calm child, but at school it has been a rough road for the past couple of years. I have had to talk to many teachers all saying the same thing: "he's impulsive, over reacts, doesn't think about the consequences, and disruptive to himself and others. For the past couple of years I have been convinced that he was ADD. I am sure you are wondering why didn't I address it then well due to certain promises with getting financial help I kept waiting until recently I said no more. I can't wait it's affecting his school and most of all it was affecting his little spirit. So with some MUCH APPRECIATED help we were able to take him to the pyschiatrist to get him evaluated. Low and behold he was diagnosed with ADHD. Now I am not a person that is against medication if it means the success of my child. At this point I had tried EVERYTHING with him positive and negative reinforcement and no results of improvement. It came down to the decision of medication and I did put him on it. Some parents will disagree with me in fact there are a few family members that do, but here's the kicker it's not their choice. They aren't the one who has to deal with the problem on a daily basis or take off of work to meet with teachers for his behavior. So he has been on the medication for a week and a half now. He now tells me about his great days he is having at school and he gets good reports on behavior. I spoke to his teacher this morning and she said that she has never seen so much growth in a child, that his hand writing has improved, he participates now, and he is focused. I couldn't be happier with the decision that I have made for Connor. I have seen improvements and so has his teachers.

Hope turned into being sennical

The last few days I have come to a realization that this once hopeless romantic has turned sennical. The things that use to make me say "awe" or actually believe that a guy could mean the mushy stuff has now been replaced with disbelief and disgust. No matter how hard I try to think as I use to I really can't. The walls have been built the guard is steady around my heart. This isn't something I am choosing to be, but with the last relationship I was in really has hardened my exterior. I am no longer warm and fuzzy, not affectionate, and always doubting that person who I maybe around. It has taken me over a year to even hang out with someone which I suppose is a baby step, but what's the point when I hold them at arm's length? It is not as though I enjoy this new way of thinking it's just where I am at this point in life. I'm not sure if I can get past it or through it I sure hope so. All of my hope that I once had for relationships have gone down the drain and it's sad really. Maybe one day someone will restore my faith....

Until the next time......

Celebrating 29 years....

This past week was my bday and I am in my last year of the twenties! Crazy how time can fly by. I had a good birthday. I had lunch with my sister and her family, my brother-in-law made a yummy cheesecake for me, my cute neice Alyssa made me some cool rings, and the rest of the day I just bummed around. One of my best friends' bday is the day after mine so we celebrated our bdays together this past Saturday night. We all went out to dinner and then finished our night downtown. I had a lot of fun just getting out and being with friends. Those things don't come too often so when they do it's definitely a treat:) I am looking forward to the new year I have high hopes for it!

Until the next time...

The best day of my life was on Sept 10, 2003

September 10th was the day that my heart grew in a way that I didn't know was possible...Connor Matthew Parrish was born all 6lbs3oz of him:) He was everything and more that I hoped for. Connor has brought such a light into my life, he has changed me into the person I am today, he's taught me patience when that wasn't in my vocabulary prior, he makes me laugh until my tummy can't take it anymore, and he's saved me in more ways than one. I can't even remember my life without him he is definitely by far the best gift that God has ever blessed me with. So tomorrow I will be celebrating the life of my precious boy! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY CONNORBUG MOMMY LOVES YOU!