A mother's decision

I have the most loving, kind hearted, joyful, energetic, funny, and easy going child Connor. He has brought me so much joy and laughter since I met him. At home he is a very to himself calm child, but at school it has been a rough road for the past couple of years. I have had to talk to many teachers all saying the same thing: "he's impulsive, over reacts, doesn't think about the consequences, and disruptive to himself and others. For the past couple of years I have been convinced that he was ADD. I am sure you are wondering why didn't I address it then well due to certain promises with getting financial help I kept waiting until recently I said no more. I can't wait it's affecting his school and most of all it was affecting his little spirit. So with some MUCH APPRECIATED help we were able to take him to the pyschiatrist to get him evaluated. Low and behold he was diagnosed with ADHD. Now I am not a person that is against medication if it means the success of my child. At this point I had tried EVERYTHING with him positive and negative reinforcement and no results of improvement. It came down to the decision of medication and I did put him on it. Some parents will disagree with me in fact there are a few family members that do, but here's the kicker it's not their choice. They aren't the one who has to deal with the problem on a daily basis or take off of work to meet with teachers for his behavior. So he has been on the medication for a week and a half now. He now tells me about his great days he is having at school and he gets good reports on behavior. I spoke to his teacher this morning and she said that she has never seen so much growth in a child, that his hand writing has improved, he participates now, and he is focused. I couldn't be happier with the decision that I have made for Connor. I have seen improvements and so has his teachers.

Hope turned into being sennical

The last few days I have come to a realization that this once hopeless romantic has turned sennical. The things that use to make me say "awe" or actually believe that a guy could mean the mushy stuff has now been replaced with disbelief and disgust. No matter how hard I try to think as I use to I really can't. The walls have been built the guard is steady around my heart. This isn't something I am choosing to be, but with the last relationship I was in really has hardened my exterior. I am no longer warm and fuzzy, not affectionate, and always doubting that person who I maybe around. It has taken me over a year to even hang out with someone which I suppose is a baby step, but what's the point when I hold them at arm's length? It is not as though I enjoy this new way of thinking it's just where I am at this point in life. I'm not sure if I can get past it or through it I sure hope so. All of my hope that I once had for relationships have gone down the drain and it's sad really. Maybe one day someone will restore my faith....

Until the next time......