Hope turned into being sennical

The last few days I have come to a realization that this once hopeless romantic has turned sennical. The things that use to make me say "awe" or actually believe that a guy could mean the mushy stuff has now been replaced with disbelief and disgust. No matter how hard I try to think as I use to I really can't. The walls have been built the guard is steady around my heart. This isn't something I am choosing to be, but with the last relationship I was in really has hardened my exterior. I am no longer warm and fuzzy, not affectionate, and always doubting that person who I maybe around. It has taken me over a year to even hang out with someone which I suppose is a baby step, but what's the point when I hold them at arm's length? It is not as though I enjoy this new way of thinking it's just where I am at this point in life. I'm not sure if I can get past it or through it I sure hope so. All of my hope that I once had for relationships have gone down the drain and it's sad really. Maybe one day someone will restore my faith....

Until the next time......