Merry Christmas!

It's just a few days away from Christmas. I am so excited for the holiday. I love this time of year time with family and friends. I am really looking forward to Connor getting all of his new stuff and playing with it all with him. The best gift of the season is most definitely without a doubt JESUS! Hope everyone enjoys their holiday and remembers what it's all about.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS:)

Being the stronger person is exhausting....

As of now I work a full time job along with three other small jobs on the side. This weekend I have come to realize that I have to get yet another part time job. The situation I am in is completely alone with Connor who solely depends on me. The help that I have gotten will most probably stop all together with the way things are going. So in order to keep the condo I just purchased and Connor in his ah-mazing school it calls for yet another job. Everyone says that I am a strong person, someone who isn't afraid of work, and determined. These things are true yes, but a part of me feels that it's unfair that I have to pick up the slack for those who aren't willing to step up. I give 110% to my child financially, emotionally, and providing for him. Please don't get me wrong my son is worth every little bit of it, but now I will have to spend more time away from him so eventhough I am making up for it financially he is missing out on time with his mom. I hope and pray that one day things will be different, easier, smoother, and simple. For now I have to put on the super mom cape and try not to get too worn out from it all.

Until the next time.....

A mother's decision

I have the most loving, kind hearted, joyful, energetic, funny, and easy going child Connor. He has brought me so much joy and laughter since I met him. At home he is a very to himself calm child, but at school it has been a rough road for the past couple of years. I have had to talk to many teachers all saying the same thing: "he's impulsive, over reacts, doesn't think about the consequences, and disruptive to himself and others. For the past couple of years I have been convinced that he was ADD. I am sure you are wondering why didn't I address it then well due to certain promises with getting financial help I kept waiting until recently I said no more. I can't wait it's affecting his school and most of all it was affecting his little spirit. So with some MUCH APPRECIATED help we were able to take him to the pyschiatrist to get him evaluated. Low and behold he was diagnosed with ADHD. Now I am not a person that is against medication if it means the success of my child. At this point I had tried EVERYTHING with him positive and negative reinforcement and no results of improvement. It came down to the decision of medication and I did put him on it. Some parents will disagree with me in fact there are a few family members that do, but here's the kicker it's not their choice. They aren't the one who has to deal with the problem on a daily basis or take off of work to meet with teachers for his behavior. So he has been on the medication for a week and a half now. He now tells me about his great days he is having at school and he gets good reports on behavior. I spoke to his teacher this morning and she said that she has never seen so much growth in a child, that his hand writing has improved, he participates now, and he is focused. I couldn't be happier with the decision that I have made for Connor. I have seen improvements and so has his teachers.

Hope turned into being sennical

The last few days I have come to a realization that this once hopeless romantic has turned sennical. The things that use to make me say "awe" or actually believe that a guy could mean the mushy stuff has now been replaced with disbelief and disgust. No matter how hard I try to think as I use to I really can't. The walls have been built the guard is steady around my heart. This isn't something I am choosing to be, but with the last relationship I was in really has hardened my exterior. I am no longer warm and fuzzy, not affectionate, and always doubting that person who I maybe around. It has taken me over a year to even hang out with someone which I suppose is a baby step, but what's the point when I hold them at arm's length? It is not as though I enjoy this new way of thinking it's just where I am at this point in life. I'm not sure if I can get past it or through it I sure hope so. All of my hope that I once had for relationships have gone down the drain and it's sad really. Maybe one day someone will restore my faith....

Until the next time......

Celebrating 29 years....

This past week was my bday and I am in my last year of the twenties! Crazy how time can fly by. I had a good birthday. I had lunch with my sister and her family, my brother-in-law made a yummy cheesecake for me, my cute neice Alyssa made me some cool rings, and the rest of the day I just bummed around. One of my best friends' bday is the day after mine so we celebrated our bdays together this past Saturday night. We all went out to dinner and then finished our night downtown. I had a lot of fun just getting out and being with friends. Those things don't come too often so when they do it's definitely a treat:) I am looking forward to the new year I have high hopes for it!

Until the next time...

The best day of my life was on Sept 10, 2003

September 10th was the day that my heart grew in a way that I didn't know was possible...Connor Matthew Parrish was born all 6lbs3oz of him:) He was everything and more that I hoped for. Connor has brought such a light into my life, he has changed me into the person I am today, he's taught me patience when that wasn't in my vocabulary prior, he makes me laugh until my tummy can't take it anymore, and he's saved me in more ways than one. I can't even remember my life without him he is definitely by far the best gift that God has ever blessed me with. So tomorrow I will be celebrating the life of my precious boy! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY CONNORBUG MOMMY LOVES YOU!

Challenges with pushing thirty!

Soooo this is my final year to be in the twenties and I'm sure I will love my thirties, but as for my body it knows the difference! I have put on some extra lbs in the past year and now it's time to FIGHT BACK! I FINALLY gave up one of the most glorious things in my life Dr. Pepper. Now if you know me then you know that is quite the addiction in my life, one of the things that I love to over induldge myself in, but definitely a bad thing:( So it's been a little over a week since I have had one of my tasty drinks and so far so good. I did have a moment of weakness, but stood strong. It was after the hike that Connor and I went on...I was dying of thirst and all my taste buds could crave was my dr. pepper. I went to the gas station refused myself my love and picked up a hawaiian punch....then I put that back and got a powerade instead. This may sound silly to you, but trust me it was hard it was as if I needed to call a sponsor at that moment and have someone talk me down!

Since we have moved in our new place it's been an adjustment financially so that means NO EATING OUT. Now being a single mom it's so much easier to just hit up the drive through especially when I work ALL THE TIME. I have been cooking and forcing not only my son, but myself to eat the leftovers. (I'm not much of a left over kinda girl, but I'm learning)I'm even finding myself eating veggies again if you know me this isn't the norm.

Finally I have been back into working out thank you Lord! I have just had two foot surgeries so I was incapable of doing so until now. I'm starting off slow with just a half hour work out a day, but it's better than nothing!

So if any of you out there have any suggestions on how to get my much missed body back. Let me know!

Until the next time....

So Many Changes Happening.....



Wow it's been a while since my last blog. It's time to catch everyone up on where we are at in life!



First off I bought a condo downtown that I'm absolutely in love with! It was definitely a God thing everything worked out perfectly in my favor! Connor has more space to play which is wonderful and finally a place to call home:)



Connor has started FIRST grade which takes me back a bit! He is doing wonderful in school so far:) He has an amazing little fire cracker for a teacher just what my boy needs!



Other exciting news is that I signed him up for cub scouts. This weekend we have our very first adventure in a swamp hike! This should be very interesting especially since this mommy isn't too fond of creepy, crawly, creatures:), but if it puts a smile on my son's face I will take one for the team!

In just a short couple of weeks Connor will be turning 7! We are going to do a pirate themed swim party:) so it should be real cute!

The last thing is work of course! Things are going great as usual. I'm non-stop busy, but it's a great thing that I love what I do and in that I feel so blessed.





That is all the catching up I have to do for now.



Until the next time.....

When did I get old?

There are a few things that have slowly been creeping up on me for the full on attack of the age. Let me give you a quick overview:

1. My nephew graduated HIGH SCHOOL this past Saturday! Now that's just crazy enough, but to top it off when I was visiting with him in our conversation I had to stop him and get him to explain words he was throwing out there. This may not sound so crazy, but I am only ten years older how in the world did I miss the way of conversation??? So in a short matter of time I officially became the old woman who had no idea what he was talking about and trying to be "cool" by getting the meanings.

2. I am attending my first high school reunion in just a few short weeks! Yikes! This last decade really did fly by!

3. So I have had some troubles with both of my feet and for the surgery I need it was just only a matter of time, but the one I need is a surgery that a grandma usually gets. You ready for this? My bunions(I know right?) are so bad to the point that I can no longer wear any shoes that are enclosed in any kind of way! On a side note I have a 3k deductible and that's the amount of the surgery so keep your fingers/toes crossed that I can get approved for a loan. This kind of trouble is PAINFUL!

4. Last but most definitely not least my metabolism SUCKS! That is one that I wish wasn't lacking! These extra lbs are a struggle to come off peeps!

These are just some of the things that are revealing themself to me thus far. As I slowly approach 30 with hesitation my body I think is already there!

The worst thing to do is nothing!

First I must start by saying that 2010 has really been good to me! I have been blessed with Connor as always, with family, work, and with becoming debt free! This year I have set some pretty high goals and I absolutely LOVE to set goals! One of my goals as you know from previous posts is to become a home owner. This is such an exciting thought to me, to be able to have something permanent in my life that represents accompolishment and to be able to give my son a backyard and a room we could paint however he wanted, b/c it would finally be a place called HOME. At the same time I am so nervous about the process. I am not worried about finding a home, but more about so many questions! Just to name a few:

1. Will they think my credit is good enough to qualify for anything?
2. If I qualify for something will it even be enough to get something in a good part of town?
3. Will I have to put money down or be able to 100% finance?


I know this may seem a little trivial to some, but I have NO CLUE about buying a home. I paid my debt off on March 5th and so as we all know it takes thirty days to post to your credit. With that being said I have just stood still in this worry, b/c I do not want to hear the word "NO". I don't know about you, but I am not too fond of rejection. I personally don't want to hear "Sorry all that hard work you have been doing doesn't really matter-NEXT!" I was talking to a friend of mine and they said something that made me move forward FINALLY! "The worst thing you can do is nothing" This sounds pretty common sense, but I need someone to remind me! So today I sent off my application to a lender and we will see what happens. Please keep me in your prayers for pre-approval!

Until the next time.....

A SINGLE MOMMY'S STRUGGLES TO PUSH THROUGH.....

I have been a single mommy to my amazing son Connor for 6.5 years now. I love him more than life itself, but doing it on my own has had it's challenges in so many different ways, but I'm not one who ever quits even when I think I can't push through much more. When Connor was only 3 months old I went back to school and from then on out for the next three years I worked a full time job during the day, went to school full time at night, and took care of Connor. Unfortunately at some point I got burned out on the chaotic schedule and the lack of rest so something had to give at least temporarily. Ultimately I put school on the back burner, b/c you can't quit the job due to the fact that you have someone who depends on you every single second of every single day. *PLEASE NOTE* THIS IS IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM A COMPLAINT ABOUT MY CONNOR! This is just the simple facts of my situation and doing it on my own...trust me this is leading up to some good:) So I worked hard to be the best at my job and learn as much as I could along side with being the very best mom I could be. Eventhough I was working so hard in both departments I still felt this sense of failure, b/c I didn't finish school yet. No matter how much I achieved at work or the praise I may have received it didn't matter the negative thought still lingered. I seriously didn't think that I would get to the point of feeling peace and acceptance with not finishing, but last week that feeling has changed! I am more than happy to announce that all of my hard work has paid off and I got promoted and am getting an assistant:) Now I was promoted in my last job, but this promotion is a bit different. It's really not all about the promotion it's about when I reflect back on where I was 6 years ago to where I am now it truly amazes me. There are points in my life that I have no idea how I pulled it off financially with the pay that I was getting vs. the bills and needs of Connor. I promise you it was only by the grace of God that was pulling me through. I have worked so hard to make something of myself without the degree and sometimes so hard on myself about if I would be there, and moments of wanting to just give up, but I didn't! A part of me just wants to reach out to other single moms like myself and encourage them to keep pushing through to let them know that even in the toughest times you can get through it.


Until the next time.....

I AM FREE.....DEBT FREE!!!!!!







First let me start off by saying that paying off all my debt was an ah-mazing feeling! As of last Friday everything that was pulling me down on the credit score was wiped CLEAN! Phew was that a relief:) The only debt I have is my car and it's good debt so no worries.







So for my list of goals I have met one @ 100% moving onto looking into buying a house for me and my lil man so exciting!



Now it's time to start marking off the next big one on the list: this unnecessary, unwanted, didn't invite you weight gain! The good news is that I have already started working towards this goal and in the process will rule out another goal=no caffeine! Let me give you a back story of my life's diet:



1. Very picky eater whose taste buds do not salivate under any circumstance for fruits or veggies



2. Dr. Pepper daily consumption=5-6 per day yes people you read that right PER DAY!



So far I have completely STOPPED eating out so that will definitely prove to help the situation. Being that I am not one to go gaga over the health stuff there is one vegetable that I do enjoy and that is the oh so yummy cucumber. Well in my obsessive consumption of the cucumber I wondered to myself if it was doing more harm then good...so I looked it up and I discovered that not only was it not fattening, but it is known as a fat burning food among others! I had no clue that there was such a thing. You can stop laughing now, but I wasn't raised with all the healthy foods and home cooked meals. I was raised by my amazing mother who was also a single mommy who worked NON-STOP. So for those of you who are in the dark like I was check it out here on which foods can benefit weight loss:



http://www.webterrace.com/fat/diur.htm





Ya'll can totally thank me later for the enlightenment! Onto the next thing I am down to 3 dr. peppers a day! Now I must be honest it is one of my loves and addiction so I am definitely feeling the withdrawls and it sucks, but I will make it through! I am hoping that by the end of the week we can be down to maybe 1-2 a day.



I have a deadline of quitting smoking on April 1st 2010. I have a deadline at work and when I meet that deadline with my project I verbally and hand wrote a committment to quitting. So around that time I suggest little contact with the public:) hahah



Well that is all the updates for now



UNTIL THE NEXT TIME.....

CONNOR CONVERSATION=PURE ENTERTAINMENT

Connor: "Mommy, I'm just too old for all this work at school"

Me: "What kind of work Connor?"

Connor: "You know: door holder, line leader, calendar counter...it's just too much"

SILENT PAUSE FOLLOWED AFTER ME QUIETLY LAUGHING TO MYSELF......

Connor: "Mommy, I'm sorry that I day dreamed at school last year"

Me: "Baby that's ok you just have to remember to pay attention to your teacher"

Connor: Short pause...."Mommy, when I daydream my eyes go crossed and then I get eye boogers!"

Me: UNCONTROLLABLY LAUGHING....BWAHHHAAAA

SO LOVE THAT KID HE MAKES MY WORLD MAKE SENSE:)

Bye Bye 2009 Hello 2010

As always it has been a while since my last entry! First happy new year to everyone out there! My farewell to 2009 was definitely a bittersweet, but most definitely happy to put it all behind me. I rang in the new year with one of my oldest friends very low key and I barely made it past midnight...I know such a grandma! Well I must say that I absolutely LOVE the new year, b/c it gives me a fresh start, to reflect on the past year mistakes and figure out how to do life differently, to look back on the positive things that were a blessing in my life, one of my most favorite parts about it is to set my goals, and I think most people can agree that it gives us hope for self improvement and to challenge ourselves to push to get more out of life! So below are my goals that I have set for the new year :

1. Set aside more time with Connor
2. Workout-lost 15lbs
3. Pay off my debt
4. Buy house
5. Quit Smoking


On another note here is a thought on my past decade:

In the past ten years I have lived in 4 different cities, moved 13 times, fell in love more than once, but found the deepest most overwhelming love in my son Connor, went to three different schools, has had three cars, but finally bought my fourth on my own this past year, has lost friends through the shuffle of life, has found old friends through the wonderful ways of technology, has just started figuring out who I am and not who I think people want me to be, and has been so very blessed with my amazing job and co-workers. The past decade has been one interesting journey with many tears shed of pain and joy, but as I always say it's a life lesson with no regrets!

Now for my final thought:

So I am a single mom as most of you know which means I am CONSTANTLY working either at the office or from my home almost 7 days a week. Well I have just had a revelation on something I have always known, but somehow along the way with trying to just make ends meet forgot. So here it is:

I have so much that is going on with work that during the past few days I actually set aside time just to do things with Connor and it really did make such a difference for him. Eventhough to me it wasn't that much to him it was huge he thought he had the best day ever with me, b/c we played a game and watched a movie together. I hate to admit it, but there are so many times when I put him off, b/c I am literally non-stop working even at home. I am so focused on providing for him and working hard that I forget that I need to actually stop for a minute and just be with him. To some this may sound like a no brainer, but like I said I'm so focused on providing and meeting the bills that I'm either work, work, work, or I'm just exhausted. Over his holiday break though when he got back from visiting with his dad I started pulling out the games and it really has been great for the both of us. So this will definitely be on my priorities for the year!

How are you planning to impact your new year????